I’m a firm believer in snooping. My kids are fully aware.
If your phone is where I can get to it, I’ll go through it to see what you’re up to. I’ll also do random phone snatches, because if you’ve left your phone where I can get to it, it’s probably because you have deleted anything of real significance. (Seriously, I’m no amateur!)
Passwords and codes don’t thwart me. I may not remember them, but my husband does.
The word privacy means absolutely nothing to us. In the Kane household, if you are a minor, living under our roof, you have no legal rights.
Should you not hand me your phone, then I will take your keys, your car, your basic will to live.
I will admit, however, it took me a while to figure out that texting wasn’t the only way teens communicate these days. (My kids got a laugh out of that one!)
But once I realized you could private message on all forms of social media, I was on to them like glue. Twitter, Facebook, Instagram. I have become quite the social media stalker. It’s amazing I still find time to do anything else!
And then came Snapchat….
For all of you parents who still believe your child doesn’t have a secret Instagram account, let me enlighten you. Snapchat is our form of messaging and it’s basically the only way kids really communicate these days. Texting about homework and posting sweet photos on Instagram are mere smoke screens our teenagers have concocted to throw us off their scent.
The only problem is that in order to understand how Snapchat works, much less navigate it, you must have a young, agile mind. In other words, you must be 24 or younger!!
For those that don’t know what Snapchat is, think of it as a secret society where our kids can post photos and videos that automatically self-destruct within a few minutes. So when your parent tries to snoop on your phone, there is nothing there for them to see.
Half the time when I’m snooping on Snapchat, I hit the wrong button and end up staring at my face earnestly looking down into my daughter’s phone.
The worst part of Snapchat is that our children are posting about everything and everyone.
How do I know this? Because every once in a while, I get lucky and a compliant teenager, living under my roof, allows me a brief glimpse into her Snapchat world. Like magic, she works the buttons and up pop all these videos and photos.
And to my horror, I saw many of you were the stars of these clips!
There you are asleep on your recliner, head back, mouth open, snoring. (With the caption “He is so old!”)
There you are in your yoga pants and favorite sweat shirt (the one with the stains) yelling at them to clean their room. (With the caption “Blah, blah, blah”)
There you are sitting at the kitchen table, with your robe and rollers, sipping on your morning coffee while scrolling through your Facebook feed. (With the caption, “My morning view”)
And, I must confess, it made be giggle.
Until I noticed, my other teenager filming me, while I was watching you. At the time I was in my PJs, my hair was in a bun atop my head and I had a charcoal mask all over my face.
He started typing a caption. And then he hit send.
The snoop just got snooped!