No Secrets

By Angel Kane

There are two types of people in this world. There are those who drink water straight from the tap, squeeze toothpaste from the middle, find defrost a waste of time when you can simply wipe the fog with your hand and who know, without a doubt, the five second rule does not apply to chocolate.

And then, there is the rest of humanity.

This summer we planned the trip of a lifetime. There would be 9 of us total. The Kanes & the Walkers do Europe!

And by do, I mean, 15 days of non-stop walking up cobblestone mountain top paths to view the castle, museum or breathtaking view that lay ahead. 4 countries, 5 kids, 9 backpacks, 7 planes, 2 high speed rails, 9 kayaks, 6 buses, (only 1 neck pillow) and more underground tubes than I ever, ever, ever want to think about again!

And by Day 3, the niceties were over.

First and foremost, you quickly realize there are no secrets when you are sharing toothpaste and deodorant.

Yes, I do take long showers and use a lot of the hot water. It’s called first come, first serve. And there isn’t an 18-year-old in this world that can get up earlier than I to be first in line. I mean, except this one time, when she did, and was blacklisted to the end of the shower line for the remainder of the trip.

No, my hair is not naturally wavy. It’s actually a mix of thin, coarse strands that grow from my head in any and all directions they choose. Therefore, I must spend at least one full hour doing my hair. Windsor Castle has been there at least a century and will be there when I finally get this crazy hair under control. And no, I will not wear a baseball cap to meet the Queen of England, even if it does have a Power-T on it to class it up a bit.

There are museum people. There are non-museum people. 2 definitely were. 2 faked it. 5 moaned and groaned each time we saw anything of historical or artistic value. All 9 of us took a Selfie with the Mona Lisa because how cool is that!

I have been on several kayak excursions and am used to the fact no one in my family wants to paddle in the same kayak as myself. Their loss and my sweet friend Caroline’s gain! 7 nautical miles later and she lost all feeling in her hands trying to keep up with my  unique paddling style. I don’t find her to be as friendly anymore.

European food is sooooo good. All European women must take high doses of fat burning pills. That’s the ONLY explanation.

Europe is amazing. The people are friendly, the sights are gorgeous, and yes, after 15 days of togetherness, we are all still talking to each other.

Albeit, sometimes under our breath, in sarcastic tones. But you try sharing one tube of toothpaste amongst 9 people and will soon find that squeezing from the middle is punishable by death by firing squad… to 4 out of 9.

Angel Kane - Kane & Crowell Family Law Center

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